Otherwise known as ‘It’s not my Ride’

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This is sort of my mantra right now. After being a decades long people pleaser, enabler, co-dependent, and a million other adjectives that let you know I will get involved in your drama cause I think I have the solutions to everyone’s problems if you’d just listen, I’ve turned over a new leaf.

It hasn’t been easy. In fact, it’s been down-right hard. Largely I’ve discovered that everyone knows the solutions to their own problems and, owing to a variety of issues, either want off the crazy bus or have an open ended ticket and are enjoying the ride.

I enjoy the peace that I’ve discovered in the last decade after getting off one looong, chaotic crazy train. I didn’t know that a melodrama did not need to be lurking around every corner, sucking the energy out of my soul, diverting attention from the things that were going to truly let me grow.

Part of this process has been addressing the adrenaline I got out of being involved in certain situations. Looking back it made me feel powerful, alive, and useful. But ultimately is just sapped my spirit. I’ve started looking at my need to be ‘needed’ and realizing when my ego is rearing its ugly head. As if I have the power to intercede and change outcomes!?! Please. If I feel like I’m getting too involved in an unhealthy situation with unneccesary drama, I try to stop, reassess, and pour that energy back into myself or my direct family unit. Most of the time it works. Although I don’t want to lose my empathy for others, I can do it through compassionate distance so it doesn’t compromise the integrity of my own circus.

So when I ran across this lovely quote, it spoke to me in a playful way about something I’m taking very seriously.

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About ktheidtke

A single mother of 4, narrating the everyday.
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